One thing that my mother-in-law has said to me a few times has stuck. "Motherhood is full of guilt". I have given out that piece of advice several times over the last few years. If you think about it, it is very fitting for several situations.
I probably feel guilty about something regarding my kids or family several times a day. It is probably a bit excessive. I feel guilty that I do not get to dress and do Halle's hair before school every day, that I don't make my kids a hot breakfast in the mornings, that my house isn't cleaner, that I don't sit down and read with them more often, that we don't do family bible devotions on a regular basis, and that I just may not be THE best mom I can be.
The guilt goes past my kids to my husband, my job as a teacher, my friends and me not being as good an "overall" person as I feel like I could be. I could give you details on each of those, but I won't bore you.
Ugh...the guilt goes on and on.
Today my guilt is from reading other people's blogs and seeing the things that they are doing with their kids and getting great pictures. I am going to regret not having those pictures some day. I already do. I LOVE to take pictures, but with four kids, I am lucky to get all of my kids to our destination on time or close to it. I forget my camera or it doesn't work. I do take pictures with my phone but the quality isn't as good.
You see, I realize that my kids are growing at a very fast pace and there will be a day that I don't remember these days. I need these pictures to help me remember. Connor is 10 and I know there are things that I didn't write down that he said or did that I thought that I would always remember. With 4 kids, it isn't as easy as I thought it would be to remember who did what and when.
SO, I will spend my Spring Break trying to get some great pictures of my kids. There is a lot of park playing and bike riding in our future. =)
2 comments:
I battle with guilt EVERY day! I worry about letting Will watch too much tv, about letting him eat too much junk food, not cooking healthy enough, not spending enough one-on-one time with Kate, and the list goes on and on. Curt always reminds me that if we can just raise kids who love the Lord with all of their heart, mind, and soul, then the rest is just fluff. But it is a constant battle! You are a wonderful, selfless Mom and you should be proud of the job you are doing and the kids you are raising!
You are so sweet! Don't worry about letting Will watch too much TV. I am SURE that Connor was so intelligent and reading so early because of Barney. He watched alot of TV as a 1-3 year old. People criticizes about that a lot, but Connor really benefitted from it. Jax didn't watch TV much as a toddler and things didn't come as easy to him. I do think there is a bit of a link there.
No matter what you do, you will never feel like you have spent enough time or done enough for your kids. Pray that God will let you know if you aren't doing something right.
You and Curt are amazing parents. I can tell from your blog posts and seeing you at church. Will and Kate are very lucky kids!!! I am inspired by your blog posts!
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