So the day that I dreaded is here and gone. Kaden turned one today. We had his party yesterday. My baby is not a baby any more. I don’t know where the time went. I feel like I was in the hospital last month giving birth.
Kaden is such a sweet little boy and I just can’t believe that he is so old. He is walking and drinking out of a cup. He will be going to Mother’s Day Out 4 days a week starting in September. How can I stop time? I want to pause everything. I want to slow this down.
I am really struggling with this. I don’t want my little boys to grow up, but also I don’t want to close this chapter of my life. We’re not going to have any more kids and it is so hard knowing that part of my life is over. I will never get to hold my newborn baby in my arms and on my stomach and wonder how in the world he fit in there! I had a hard time at the hospital with Chris and McKenlie because I thought, “Wow, I’ll never do this again”. I looked at that sweet baby girl and thought, “I’ll never have another one of those again”. I went to a baby shower today and remembered the feeling of excitement knowing that soon I was going to see the alien growing in me.
The weird thing is that I don’t want to have another baby. I can’t afford another one and I don’t have the time and energy to have another one…but I still feel sad. So, I guess if I had 10 children I would still feel this way after the 10th.
I guess part of my problem is that I feel like everything is going so fast and I can’t slow it down. Brock keeps saying that Connor is 1/3 of the way to college!!! Are you kidding me? I don’t want to hear that! That really scares me!!
Anyways, we had a really good day and then we went to the Barineau’s this evening for dinner and fellowship. We had a good time with the Barineau’s and the Perkins’. They are some of the best friends we could ever ask for!
Moral of the story is…cherish your families every day because life goes by TOO fast!!!
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